As we draw closer to the end of the year and Christmas is almost upon us I have been thinking about the gift of giving. We’re always told that we should give thanks for what we have and I totally agree. I am 100% grateful for my child and my life but it hasn’t stopped me from thinking about all the extra gifts babies give which I am maybe less grateful for.
Firstly, thank you for the gift of gravity, although south is not the direction I would have chosen. I appreciate you introducing my boobs to the floor; let’s hope they don’t become permanent friends!
Thank you but no thank you for stretching my stomach to the point where I now have what could be mistaken for a permanent front bum. I can’t even re-gift this!
Thank you for being so heavy that I now feel like the hunch back of Notre dame. The local zoo called and they want their hippo back!
Thank you for depriving me of sleep. Before having a baby it was my choice if I came home at 4am, now you call the shots and sometimes want to start the day at this obnoxious hour!
But in all seriousness there are many positive gifts you have given me. Thank you for the gift of patience, although you test it on a daily basis. Especially when you constantly try to eat electrical cords!
Thank you for giving me the courage to trust my instincts. Most of the time I navigate the journey that is parenthood blindly. I second guess myself constantly and run into unwanted opinions along the way, but somehow I manage to find my way. Raising you is like going to a foreign country where I don’t speak the language or have a map.
Best of all thank you for the gift of unconditional love. Many emotions have been experienced in the short time I’ve had with you. Sometimes you drive me bat shit crazy and make me reach for the nearest bottle of wine. But no matter how bad or challenging the day is the one thing that is always there is love. I know that no matter how mental you drive me, at this moment in time I am your constant and you are mine.
I know there will probably come a time when you think I am the most embarrassing dickhead you’ve ever met but for now we have the gift of time together. If I can do one thing right and make you happy then that is the best gift of all.
You are by far the happiest, hardest, craziest, relentless and sometimes smelliest gift I have ever been given, but I wouldn’t exchange you for anything.